The EMDR sessions, while painful and exhausting, have proved enlightening and successful. Marlaina has become my trusted advisor/therapist; I have told her all my secrets, which speaks volumes given that I have never told anyone what I’ve told her. We continue to validate, or prove false, all the repressed, held by God until this time memories that began to surface and straight-up terrorize me weeks before I arrived at Brookhaven. I thank God daily for Marlaina. She is exactly who I need in a therapist, an EMDR guide/administrator, touchstone, and a “challenge me out of my comfort zone, call me on my stuff”, trusted and treasured advisor.
I would also like to recognize and give a big shout out to Leslie. I truly don’t know what I would have done or where I would have been on that afternoon a few weeks ago when terrorizing flashbacks literally took me to my knees while running; if Leslie had not been here providing a safe and secure place to fall and process, I truly shudder at the thought. Given the graphic content and intensity of what I was experiencing, Leslie’s emotional regulation expertise/chops and savvy, professional therapist experience, I was able to see/receive/feel the exposure and then self-regulate to a safe, comfortable place.
I would also like to give a nod to Jacqueline. Recently in Poncho we were assigned a project that consisted of “10 things we love about our dad”. I have to believe Jacqueline’s gift shined through when after assigning the project she locked eyes with me and said, “I would like everyone to complete this project.” I felt like she “read my mail”, so to speak, because through flashbacks at first, that were confirmed true via EMDR, my dad sexually, emotionally and mentally abused me. Net, net I had no clue how to complete the project. However, after processing with my core, I found a very powerful and empowering way to indeed present 10 reasons I love my father. I am so grateful for Jacqueline’s gift and ability to get us to go to places we don’t think we can. The resulting healing of that project alone is worth its weight in gold.
In closing, I look forward to my final five weeks at Brookhaven. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt they will provide total and complete healing; freedom I never knew existed.
Thank you to all the staff for a straight up amazing and life changing experience thus far. I’m giddy beyond description about a new beginning, a clean slate and rebirth.